4 Ways A Porn Habit Might Disconnect You From Reality

 Porn viewers can become so obsessed with chasing something that isn’t real that they miss out on relationships and building connections.

June 16, 2021

This article contains affiliate links. Fight the New Drug may receive financial support from purchases made using affiliate links.

People turn to porn for many reasons—curiosity and education, thrill, connection, chasing a high, or sexual gratification. On the surface, these may seem harmless, but over the long haul, porn can turn into a trap.

Whatever fleeting good feelings consuming porn might initially bring, they can slowly be replaced over time by their opposites. The consumer is left chasing ghosts of those first thrills. That first thrill can turn to frustration as the same kinds of porn fails to engage you as before and your brain acclimates to constant escalating content. Perhaps worst of all is the way that porn, over time, can leave its consumers increasingly disconnected from friends, family, and the world around them, especially if they carry shame from their habit.

There are many ways the exaggerated fantasy of porn takes the consumer further away from healthy perception and expectations of reality, but here are just four ways porn can create a disconnect and where you can get help if you need it.

1. Porn can lead to and fuel existing depression

Pornography, along with other addictions, floods the brain with dopamine and can provide a temporary escape from feelings you’d rather not face, like sadness, fear, anger or boredom. It can serve as a momentary haven away from real-life problems, but in turn, it can worsen those problems over time.

Check out what a study published in 2017 found about developing a possible compulsion if someone turns to porn for coping reasons: “So far, the results are in line with the prediction that the dysfunctional use of Internet pornography to cope with depressive mood or stress might be considered as a risk factor for developing a pornography addiction.”

There’s more research to confirm that idea. Consider what one study published in 2020 found about people who turn to porn to cope with life’s negative emotions. According to this study’s findings, when porn consumers turn to porn to self-medicate and relieve negative emotions like boredom or stress, they’re much more likely to develop much more frequent porn habits. And when they’re more likely to develop frequent porn habits, they’re more likely to develop “problematic porn use,” meaning a porn habit that is disruptive to their life and well-being.

And what does cyclical problematic porn consumption fuel? More loneliness, more relational distress, more negative things in life that a consumer might try to escape from according to this other study published in 2017. Researchers found that while emotional attachment in relationships can center someone’s sexual expression and prevent them from forming compulsive porn habits, the long-term effects of a porn habit were found to be connected to more loneliness, more isolation, and more relational turmoil.

It can be a cycle, but you can break free from it.

The truth is, porn is a poor substitute for happiness. It presents a fake model of relationships that distort reality and the type of connections we need and are hard-wired for as humans.

2. Porn can lead to and fuel existing anxiety

The toll pornography takes on mental health is real, and it can seriously disconnect consumers from reality. Many turn to porn to cover up the way they feel about their lives, themselves, and relationships. Comparing yourself—and your partner—to the performers in porn can prove to be damaging, causing you to think less of yourself and the person you love.

Take it from Jay Stringer, a researcher and licensed mental health counselor:

“When we’re anxious, our brains naturally seek out behaviors that provide us with an opportunity to find relief. What we actually need however is to develop an inner life capable of tolerating anxiety. Instead, porn offers us a shortcut to experience temporary calm and control. As a consequence of outsourcing a solution, we never develop the internal resources for growth.

When you pursue porn as a shortcut to reduce anxiety, your brain forms new neuropathways to connect what you’re doing to the pleasure you’re feeling.”

But that’s not all porn can cause. Research also shows that the increase of pornography in society is a cause for body image anxiety and is fueling an increasing number of women seeking plastic surgery to change their bodies, and the increase in young men seeking male enhancement procedures.

Driving the wedge between you and reality further, porn also presents a manufactured idea of what sex is supposed to be like. But the fact is, it’s impossible to measure up to airbrushed fantasy and overly exaggerated acting. But even so, consumers can often become obsessed with chasing something that isn’t real that they miss out on actual relationships and building real, authentic connections.

3. Porn can harm your sex life and understanding of sex

Porn can lead to bad or less enjoyable sex. Ironic, right? Consumers turn to porn because it turns them on and shows them a fantasy world of nonstop sex. Then, when consumers are actually with someone, after being exposed to so much unrealistic sexual explicit content, their can body shut down—they can’t perform. The reality of a real person with wrinkles, flaws, and quirks who doesn’t necessarily act like or look like a porn performer just doesn’t measure up.

Welcome to porn-induced erectile dysfunction (PIED). Once upon a time, erectile dysfunction was something pretty much only middle-aged dudes got. Now, with the rise of internet porn, it’s the territory of binge-watching young guys. But don’t take our word for it, check out people like Gabe Deem of Reboot Nation or our Fighters who are opening up about their experiences with it.

The reality is, porn can inhibit consumers from not only being sexually healthy, but also from feeling socially able to connect to a potential partner, and cause them to shy away from real-life connections, at times. Real sex becomes not as exciting as the pornography, and soon the consumer is potentially dealing with serious sexual problems. This is just another way porn disconnects consumers from reality.

4. Porn can cause crippling shame

If social media is any indicator, generally, people don’t feel very good or proud about their porn habit. You know the common movie or TV show scene, depicting porn consumers hiding their porn magazines under their mattresses or locking their doors as they power up their laptops.

We get messages all over the world from porn consumers who have expressed that they’ve felt like a “bad” person with no value because of their habits. Maybe that’s because, once you strip away the makeup, the camera angles, and the editing, porn doesn’t really make consumers feel very excellent about themselves and life. It’s a feeling that sticks with you after the video ends—the embarrassment, the self-loathing, the feelings of worthlessness linger. And to make matters worse, it turns out that self-inflicted shame is a breeding ground for more issues like social isolation, separating consumers further from a healthy lifestyle and reality.

As if that’s not enough, there are those who add to that shame by treating people addicted to porn as the enemies. This kind of shaming can result in crippling self-esteem and outright depression.

Love and Understanding

 Are the Keys to Reconnecting

Bottom line—porn is never worth it. The power porn has to disconnect consumers from reality isn’t something to joke about. It can erode your mental health, and harm the quality of your personal connections, leaving you isolated and disconnected yet craving more.

Thankfully, if you’re struggling, there is hope, and there is help. You aren’t alone.

Are sexual desires inherently sinful?

 

👉 _below is the answer

👉 Sexuality and reproduction are fundamental parts of being alive. All living creatures have some sort of reproductive urges because God decreed sexuality to be the way most of creation would perpetuate the various species. For animals, sexual urges are merely physical drives like hunger or thirst. But for human beings, sexuality also involves emotional bonding, spirituality, self-control, and psychological intimacy. Our sexuality is an integral part of who we are, but it does not define us. We are more than our sexuality, and God expects us to master it, not allow it to master us. Being designed by God, sexual desires are not inherently sinful. They are good, but they are to be controlled and brought under subjection to God’s moral law (1 Corinthians 7:8–9)._

🥦 We cannot separate our identity from our sexuality, our gender, or our desires. Sexuality is a basic part of our personhood; however, sexuality is not synonymous with our personhood. We are not our sexuality, our gender, or our desires. Those are aspects of, but not definers of, our personhood.

🍈 We were created in the image of God, and we cannot understand ourselves unless we begin with that fact (Genesis 1:27). Created in God’s image, human beings, unlike animals and plants, have an eternal spirit just as God has. We were designed to live in continual communion with Him in our spirits, but in order to do that, we must keep our physical bodies in subjection to that spirit (1 Corinthians 9:27). When we allow sexual desires to determine our lifestyle or dominate our behavior, we are living like animals rather than the highest form of God’s earthly creation. When sexual desires are given free rein, we live as if we did not bear God’s image.

🕹️ Sexual desires, although not sinful in themselves, become sinful when they veer outside the boundaries that God established for them. When God said, “It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper for him” (Genesis 2:18), He instituted marital sexuality as part of His good plan (Genesis 1:31). God’s design for human sexuality was that it would be a physical and spiritual consummation of a man and woman becoming “one flesh” in a lifelong covenant (Genesis 2:21–24). Jesus reiterated this concept when He was asked about divorce. He answered, “‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate” (Matthew 19:5–6).

🏵️ Satan has always perverted whatever God creates as good. Sexuality is one area in which he has had great success by convincing millions of people that their sexual desires should determine the course of their lives. The evil one gains control of our sexuality through various means, and he exploits the selfishness in every human heart. By perverting God’s good gift of sexuality, Satan twists our healthy sexual desires into something dirty, evil, or harmful. When we tune in to his suggestions rather than adhere to God’s design, we fall into one of his traps. Satan’s handiwork is seen in the proliferation of homosexuality, child abuse, sex trafficking, rape, abortion, bestiality, gender identity crises, and transsexualism. All those disorders are perversions of natural sexual desires.

👉 We can compare sexual desires to electricity. Electricity is a wonderful discovery, and when harnessed correctly and channeled, electricity greatly benefits humanity. But the power of electricity must be used correctly, or it can destroy. When an electrical cord is plugged into a well-grounded outlet, good results. But if we stick a fork into that same outlet, destruction results. So it is with sexuality. When we limit our natural sexual desires to those avenues God designed for them, good results. But when we violate His design through immorality, adultery, or some perverted expression of sexuality, destruction results. God’s gifts come with instructions. When we follow those instructions, we experience the good He intended for us.

What I Told My 10-Year-Old Son When He Confessed To Watching Porn

 Fight the New Drug

 “Since then, our relationship as father and son has blossomed into something more beautiful than anything I could have ever imagined.”

June 8, 2021

Many people contact Fight the New Drug to share their personal stories about how porn has affected their life or the life of a loved one. We consider these personal accounts very valuable because, while the science and research is powerful within its own right, personal accounts from real people seem to really hit home about the damage that pornography does to real lives.

In our digitized world, it’s not a question of if kids will access porn, but when.

It’s a sad fact, but parents can be ready for when it happens. This end of post is by our affiliate partners at Bark, who have amazing tech solutions for monitoring devices while building trust—read on for more info.

_____

How my 10-year-old son’s battle with porn brought us together

My son came forward on his own about six weeks ago pleading…begging…to “make it stop Daddy!”

His “friend” introduced him to porn videos and even knew when to “shut it off” before his Mom made her way down the hall to “check on them.”

We find ourselves lucky and even grateful because he came to us…we didn’t have to catch him. Truth is he showed ZERO signs that anything was off, so had he not come forward, I don’t think we would have ever known! He hid his pain well.

That said… your little angel you think isn’t struggling probably is, or has some heavy thoughts, images, and emotions they don’t quite know how to process.

Now, that’s not always the case for most kids, so if you catch your kid in the act, pull them aside lovingly. They’re in enough pain—believe it or not—already, and it’s killing them inside despite what you might think. As enticing as porn is, they want out. They don’t know how to break the barriers of shame, guilt, and embarrassment. It’s too much for their minds to handle between the ages of five and 17 years old, in my opinion. My son is ten years old, and his battle is fierce.

Since then, our relationship as father and son has blossomed into something more beautiful than anything I could have ever imagined. In our first big talk, I explained to him that when an alcoholic seeks help to stop alcoholism, they find a sponsor, a life coach. I said, “Son, what if I was your sponsor. Your life coach?” He replied, “Yes, Daddy, I want you as my sponsor.”

For the last six weeks or more, we have been “cleaning out the closet” every morning or evening for about an hour. We talk about anything he wants. It mostly boils down to understanding just how normal he actually is for the thoughts, images, and feelings that have been provoked due to the introduction of porn and understanding where to draw the line and where there is personal accountability. There is no shame, here, only love and honesty.

We talk about anything and everything you can imagine now in a way that builds confidence again, self-respect, self-awareness, self-care, and self-love.

Our talks will continue daily and it’s no longer awkward to talk about sex. It’s just a normal conversation between father and son. He knows that because porn opened his eyes to a world he wishes didn’t exist, he knows it’s his battle for the rest of his life—to choose in or out—and he’s accepted that challenge.

His healing process has been amazing. Heartbreaking, but amazing.

–R., a Fighter

Pornography is everywhere – by Matt McKee

Whether we like it or not, children today will be exposed to pornography. It’s not a matter of if, but when. Preparing yourself now instead of waiting until it happens will help you get ahead of the situation. And remember,

What to do when you find out your child’s been exposed to pornography online.

Stay calm. How you react to finding out that your child has viewed porn will be remembered far more than the material itself. Have a conversation, not a shouting match.

Be supportive, not scolding. Your child is probably unsure of how they feel about what they just witnessed. They may feel ashamed, or they may be curious. Understanding where your child is in terms of this content is key. As a parent, you want to be able to see through your child’s eyes. Being supportive is the only way to do this.

Build trust while setting expectations. More than likely this is a journey and not a one-time experience. Let your child know how your family deals with this type of content. Fortunately, the relationship you have with your child is stronger than any content they’ve seen.

Keep asking questions. Continuing the conversation over weeks, months, and years will be the best thing you can do. Check in from time to time, and don’t shy away when the subject arises. This way, an awkward situation turns into an opportunity to strengthen communication with your child.

Put filtering and monitoring systems in place. Don’t just put your head in the sand. The same technology that causes problems can also create solutions. There are amazing tools out there that not only block content, but also let you know what your child is doing online. Put these in place now.

About the author

Matt McKee is Vice President of Strategic Partnerships at Bark, and the author of Parent Chat: The Technology Talk for Every Family. He’s passionate about helping families navigate the world of technology, and enabling kids to thrive throughout a digital adolescence.

WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS FROM PORN ADDICTION

 

Trying to break a porn addiction can produce withdrawal symptoms that make quitting incredibly difficult. Porn has a major impact on your brain, so when you are working to quit porn, your brain will go through some significant changes.  Your Brain on Porn, Luke Gilkerson describes some of these chemical changes:

“When sexually stimulated, dopamine is released into a region of the brain responsible for emotion and learning, giving the viewer a sense of sharp focus and an awareness of craving: ‘I have got to have this thing; this is what I need right now.’ Dopamine supplies a great sense of pleasure. The next time the viewer gets the itch for more sexual gratification, small packets of dopamine are released in the brain, saying, ‘Remember where you got your fix last time. Go there to get it.'”

10 Common Porn Withdrawal Symptoms

Have you ever experienced a symptom of porn addiction withdrawal when trying to avoid porn? Linda L. Simmons, Psy.D., says this is simply a part of the addictive cycle, “When pornography is stopped, withdrawal symptoms will likely be experienced—irritability, anxiety, frustration, and so forth.”

Here are 10 common porn withdrawal symptoms:

1. Mood Swings

One second you feel peaceful and rested. The next second you’re enraged and struggling to keep it together. Your body was used to the consistency that accompanied your porn usage. It knows that for a certain amount of time each day, it’s going to get the “satisfaction” it needs. Emotionally, you knew what to expect.

Now, that consistency is gone. Your emotions may be out of whack because you are no longer meeting the needs that your body has come to expect on a daily basis. This can result in mood swings, outbursts, and irregular emotional behaviors, as your brain attempts to rebalance.

2. Loss of Libido

Pornography creates an unattainable fantasy in our mind—something that we want to attain in our own sex life but realistically cannot. After living in this fantasy world for so long, quitting porn can result in a loss of libido (sex drive). Real sex is beautiful and romantic, but our brains are trained to expect the fantasy we watch in porn. This decreases our desire to have sex with our significant other (which can lead to many of the other withdrawal symptoms listed here!).

3. Insomnia

For some, after dark is their “time” when they watch porn. Quitting porn means that instead of staring at a screen until the wee hours of the night, you’re left staring at the ceiling, struggling to sleep. Your brain is so accustomed to the nightly routine of watching porn, that it quite literally cannot turn off and go to sleep.

4. Social Anxiety

If you’re single, social anxiety may feel extra heightened during porn withdrawal. The time you used to spend at home alone watching porn must now be replaced by healthy habits. For many, this means stepping out into public and finding productive distractions with other humans (social gatherings, church, group workouts, etc.). These can all be beneficial to overcoming porn, but when you’re not used to being around others, it can create social anxiety that might even lead to other withdrawal symptoms. Instead of watching porn, you’re now talking with real-life people and deriving your happiness and emotional satisfaction from conversation and interaction. This can be quite the adjustment!

5. Headaches

It’s important to remember that quitting porn is chemically similar to quitting a drug (smoking, caffeine, illegal substances, etc.). Your brain must adjust and reset its chemical makeup to return to a sense of normalcy that was experienced prior to addiction. Similar to the headaches I experienced when I tried to give up caffeine, pornography withdrawal can cause headaches as well.

This is normal, and it’s hugely due to the stress and hormonal imbalance that accompany your brain’s neurochemical alterations.

6. Fatigue

Aside from the fatigue that insomnia inevitably causes, you may experience exhaustion from the massive changes that your body is undergoing during porn withdrawal. When our bodies are undergoing any form of stress, they must shift into overdrive to fight that stress. This results in fatigue and sometimes even a weakened immune system. Quitting porn no doubt will induce some level of stress, so don’t be alarmed if you feel more exhausted than normal.

7. Irritability

The one thing that satisfied your desires and cravings—porn—is now removed from your life. Of course you’re going to feel irritable! By not being able to watch what you crave to see, you’re left feeling dissatisfied and bored, both of which can cause extreme irritability. The stress from porn withdrawal (a common theme in each symptom) can also lead to an overall feeling of grumpiness.

8. Anxiety

Anxiety can be a symptom of porn withdrawal for many various reasons. Perhaps you’ve quit porn and now are asking yourself, “What’s next?” How will you live a normal life without porn? Or, you might be feeling anxiety over the thought of telling someone about your addiction and recovery. What will they think of you? If you have a significant other, will your relationship be destroyed?

9. Depression

Have you noticed a common theme yet? Porn and the symptoms associated with withdrawal impact our mental health. In the long run, quitting porn will improve your mental health, but in the heat of porn addiction withdrawal, you may find yourself feeling more depressed than normal.

Your life and body just underwent a major change, so feeling down as you work to quit porn is not out of the ordinary. You cannot have what your mind craves, and the other porn withdrawal symptoms you feel have the potential to band together and leave you feeling even more depressed.

10. Intrusive Thoughts

Now that you’ve decided to quit watching porn (have I mentioned how amazing this decision is?!), you may experience a wide range of intrusive thoughts. If you’re in the early stages of withdrawal, you might still be thinking about porn. It could be be a constant moral conflict in your mind. And even if you aren’t watching porn anymore, the fantasies and images can still replay in your mind and imagination.

You also might be feeling overwhelming thoughts of shame. Although I am here to tell you that you should not let yourself be trapped in the far-too-common shame cycle that accompanies porn addiction, the reality of the matter is that you are likely to feel a sense of shame. This shame can lead to even more damaging thoughts. Is my relationship doomed? Will I ever feel normal again? How did I let this happen?

3 Ways to Manage Porn Addiction Withdrawal

The first thing to keep in mind as you experience the common symptoms of porn withdrawal is this: they will eventually stop. After battling two weeks of mind-numbing headaches from my caffeine withdrawal, I woke up one morning and was headache-free. My brain had adjusted to the fact that I would no longer be consuming a shot of espresso every morning at 10 a.m.

However, as you’re in the thick of quitting porn, there are a few steps you can take to combat the withdrawal symptoms and stay on the path to recovery.

Start going to counseling/therapy.

There are many different “genres” of therapy, and finding someone trained to ask you the right questions and prompts can make a huge difference in dealing with porn addiction. Not only will a counselor or therapist be able to guide you through the psychology of overcoming addiction, but they can also act as a sort of accountability partner in your journey to stay free from porn!

Avoid being alone.

In the midst of the withdrawal symptoms you are feeling, it will be easy to just want to be alone (scroll back up to the social anxiety discussed in point #4). In moments of crisis, especially when temptation levels are high, being alone has the potential to only worsen your symptoms.

Now, I’m not saying to dive headfirst into society and spend as much time with as many people as possible. But, take a look at your daily life and see what you can do to involve others. Scientifically, humans need interaction with others to thrive (some more than others), so join the gym or a book club. Plan a game night! Even just texting a friend once a day can break up the withdrawal symptoms you are feeling and give you a bit of refreshment.

Keep learning about the “why” behind your symptoms.

Knowing the “why” behind what you’re feeling will make all the difference in how you respond and react.

CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR CHOICES ARE RIGHT BEHIND YOU...THEY WILL SOON CATCH UP.

 

"Bro, i can't go a day without watching porn. In fact i even watch it early morning before going to church (even on days when i preach). Its so bad man, i can't get erect when trying to be intimate with my wife but i can get an erection in seconds of watching porn. I am a mess bro, my thoughts are very graphic. All the scenes of pornography that i watch keep replaying in my mind. I really need help!"

Gal 6:7-8: "But don't delude yourselves: God cannot be tricked or fooled, and his methods cannot be evaded. A person actually reaps what they sow; a person actually receives the results of their own choices. The one who indulges the selfish nature will experience the natural consequences of a damaged mind — increased fear, broken relationships, separation from God, and eventual death; but the one who chooses to follow the Spirit, from the Spirit they will experience a healed mind, internal peace, unity with God, and eternal life." The Remedy Bible

You will reap what you sow. That is a divine principle. Years of indulging in sexual vices change your brain's neural pathways. Years of watching porn, habitual masturbation and sleeping around transform your mind. You eventually become enslaved by your habits before you know it you are entrapped.You cannot evade the consequences.

Rom 6:16: "Don't you realize that when you gratify selfish desires, you are being slowly transformed and become more and more selfish, destroying the very faculties that recognize and respond to God's healing truth? Don't you realize that over time you lose your freedom to choose and become a slave to selfishness and lust, which lead only to self-destruction and death? Conversely, if you accept God's gracious Remedy and choose his methods, you are transformed and become Christlike in character." The Remedy Bible

You cannot continue on the path you are in right now and not be harmed. Stop digging your own grave. You can begin your recovery journey TODAY. Stop ignoring God's pleading voice. 

Heb 3:15: "As Scripture says, “If you hear what God is saying to you today, don't have a hard-hearted attitude like the time you rebelled against him.”" FBV

ARE YOU STRUGGLING WITH SEXUAL BROKENNESS(Pornography, masturbation and illicit sex addiction)?

Do you feel stuck?

Are you tired of fighting a losing battle?

Are you losing hope?

Do not fight your battle ALONE. Contact: @makeiteasy7

10 Big Differences Between Healthy Sex And The Sex Porn Portrays

 

Porn isn’t produced with accurate information about sex in mind, it’s created to entertain and manifest fantasies—no matter how violent or violating

Have you ever watched a movie and found yourself thinking something along the lines of, “That is not what happens in real life!”

When we watch movies or TV shows, even though we know that they’re fake, we expect them to accurately imitate real life. Our brains want realism and logic to be able to fit into the media we consume, despite the fact that things like movies aren’t necessarily seeking to do this 100%—they’re seeking to entertain and get money from the viewers.

Think about the way that romantic comedies might provide unrealistic expectations for our first relationship, or a spy movie allows us to think that there’s always a gadget or a trick on-hand for a secret agent, no matter the situation.

When a movie is about something we know a lot about and have direct experience in, we are obviously going to notice the flaws portrayed. However, when a movie is about something that we don’t have experience in, or know very little about, we tend to trust that the movie is more accurate because this is the only information we have.

Think about it: How are we supposed to know what actually goes on in the CIA, unless we do some heavy research or become a secret agent? Or, how are we supposed to know what our first kiss will be like until we actually have it? Absorbing this information paves the way forming expectations.

This has been true since the dawn of time, however, movies aren’t the only media shaping our expectations.

Porn is shaping our culture’s sex expectations

Pornography is also guilty of shaping consumers’ expectations, particularly of sex, which is only made worse when you consider that the average age of exposure to pornography is between 8-11 years old, and that 60% of students turn to porn to learn about sex.

We have entered into a world where people who don’t have any personal experience with sex are learning everything they know from pornography—and as you can imagine, porn is not a good teacher. It isn’t produced with accurate education in mind, it’s created to entertain and manifest fantasies, no matter how violent or violating.

The sex portrayed in mainstream porn today is not healthy, plain and simple. If you don’t believe us, we compiled a list of ten of the main differences between healthy sex and the sex shown in porn.

1. Porn Sex: Sex is using someone.

Healthy Sex: Sex is caring for someone.

Porn sends the message that people are objects; tools to be used to gratify a desire, no matter the cost. Healthy sex is about individuals seeing each other’s humanity and being selfless.

2. Porn Sex: Partners have sex “at” each other.

Healthy Sex: Sex is sharing a moment with a partner.

When sex is healthy, it can be an act of togetherness. Porn displays sex as simply an act being done to a person, again, degrading them and creating a selfish sense of independence between the persons involved. Healthy sex is more unified, and keeps the other person’s desire in mind.

3. Porn Sex: Sex is separate from emotion and love.

Healthy Sex: Sex is an expression of intimacy.

Porn compartmentalizes sex and affection. Often, little that is portrayed in the mainstream porn world can even be described as an act of love, and might better be described as an act of domination and hate. Healthy sex can be an expression of love and feeling between equal individuals, building upon intimacy in a relationship.

4. Porn Sex: Sex can be hurtful.

Healthy Sex: Sex is nurturing.

Porn sells the idea that sometimes sex can and should be used as a weapon, or as punishment. This is dangerous and unhealthy. In reality, healthy sex should be a controlled act of care, not something that harms them.

5. Porn Sex: Sex is emotionally distant.

Healthy Sex: Sex is emotionally close.

It’s no wonder that the degrading, objectifying sex of pornography is emotionally distant. Healthy sex includes emotional investment and recognizing the emotional needs, desires, and delicacies between partners. Sounds a little better, doesn’t it?

6. Porn Sex: Sex can happen anytime with anyone.

Healthy Sex: Sex requires certain conditions.

Pornography would have you believe that anyone can suddenly start having sex with another person at any minute (and enjoy it). It downgrades communication, consent, and emotions, among numerous other factors that are all at play when sex might be able to occur.

7. Porn Sex: Sex can be degrading.

Healthy Sex: Sex is always respectful.

Degradation should never be allowed into the formula for sex. The very base of healthy sex is mutual respect. A lack of respect results in hurt feelings at best, and violence and abuse at worst, but porn would have you believe that degrading people doesn’t matter as long as you’re pleasured—or even that the people being degraded enjoy it or deserve it.

8. Porn Sex: Sex lacks healthy communication.

Healthy Sex: Sex requires healthy communication.

Meaningful communication is nearly absent from pornography, and when it’s present, you could hardly call it healthy (i.e. name calling, verbal abuse). Porn makes talking seem like a mood killer, but communicating likes, dislikes, or other thoughts during sex promotes healthier, safer, and all-around better sex and better connection with your partner.

Often, performers list out “do’s and don’ts” before filming starts, but the consumer doesn’t see that side of the production—only the edited and finished product.

9. Porn Sex: Sex has no limits, anything goes.

Healthy Sex: Sex has set boundaries.

In pornography, anything you want to do is okay to do. No matter how unacceptable—be it sexist, racist, abusive, illegal, etc. The rule seems to be, if it provides pleasure to someone, then it is acceptable. There’s really no such thing as “harmless” fantasy when we know how indulging these thoughts can influence our perceptions and actions (see How Porn Affects Sexual Tastes). Fantasizing sex where anything and everything is acceptable and exciting can start consumers down a dangerous, slippery slope.

10.Porn Sex: Sex compromises your values.

Healthy Sex: Sex reflects your values.

Sex should never be something that causes a disconnect from the things someone values and feels comfortable and safe doing. During healthy sex, people don’t have to check their values at the door; rather, people get to see those values exemplified and feel safe and comfortable doing so.

Anti-porn is pro-sex

Hopefully, by now it’s obvious that being anti-porn goes hand-in-hand with being pro-sex. Pornography is simply incompatible with healthy sex in what it portrays and what research shows it results in between partners. Healthy sex is a mutual, respectful act between two consenting adults who can hold onto their emotions and intimacy without feeling compromised.

Don’t buy the lies pornography sells—join the fight today to help raise awareness of how pornography robs people of healthy understandings of sex.

WOULD YOU...

 

Masturbate, watch porn or have illicit sex in God's presence?

Num 25:1,6: "While Israel stayed at Shittim, the people were not faithful to the Lord and began to have sex with the daughters of Moab. … Then one of the people of Israel came and brought a Midianite woman to his family. Moses and all the people of Israel saw this while they were crying at the door of the meeting tent." NLV

Yes it once happened before. At one point the Israelite men were taking Moabite women to have sex with them in their camping ground right before the physical manifestation of God's presence in the tarbenacle. God was not happy about it and instructed Moses that those doing so should die. Moses and the rest of the Israelites were moved and went before the tarbenacle to plead with God and a very arrogant Israelite man appeared at thar time dragging a Moabite woman to have sex with her in his tent while others were praying for God's mercy.

When you are watching porn in your room is God there with you in your room as you do it?

When you are masturbating  in your room is God there with you in your room as you do it?

When you are having illicit sex in your room is God there with you in your room as you do it?

What is my point?

For you to watch porn, masturbate and have illicit sex you have to mentally do this:

1. Convince yourself that for that moment God does NOT exist- He is not there. If you believed He was there with you , you would not do it.( You mentally kill God in your mind in order to give yourself permission to do that which you belive He does not approve. In that moment...YOU are God and there is no other)

2. If you believe He is there watching you, you have to convince yourself that for that moment that He doesn't care about you and is an evil person therefore you are just going to go ahead to do it as He watches to fix Him.

"If He is so loving why did He give me strong sexual urges which are difficult to control? Its His fault that i feel horny!!!"

Sex, masturbation and viewing of porn at certain times may become an act of rebellion against God.

Do you feel stuck in a sexual habit?

Have you tried getting control over it but you keep falling back into it again and again?

Have you lost hope and are almost giving up?

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