A Way Out

 

If you cannot say no to an emotion, relationship, behavior, or the like, you are not free but bound. The apostle Paul describes what it is like to be stuck in a pattern you cannot escape: For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate. . . . For I know that nothing good dwells in me . . . for the willing [to live right] is present in me, but the doing of the good is not. For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want. —ROMANS 7:15, 18–19, NAS 

Anyone who has been trapped in a cycle of unwanted behavior can identify with this passage. Even in the midst of the act we sense ourselves losing the struggle to overcome our self-defeating habits, incapacitating emotional pain, and debilitating addictions to the persistence of our cravings. Weak-willed, we seek the momentary satisfaction of taking that drug; drinking that shot to mitigate the pain, depression, and despondency; or eating that extra helping (or third or fourth!) to comfort our souls. We cut down that coworker to show her who really has the power. We talk behind the back of that friend who has betrayed us. We belittle those in authority who have abused us organizationally, corporately, or personally. We click back to that pornographic website for self-pleasure because seeking connection with others is too painful. We abuse those we say we love because we have neither the integrity nor the emotional reserves to accept personal responsibility and deal with our shame and self-hatred. We give in to the urge to reach one more level in that video game. We light just one more “last” cigarette, linger those extra minutes away from our workstations, stay that much later at the office rather than face the pressures at home, savor that grudge, justify not forgiving or trusting someone, or any of a number of other things that keep us from addressing the things that are preventing us from living a life of joy, fulfillment, and purpose. 

As we make decisions we know are not the most appropriate, we undermine our own greatness, believing the lies that “nothing good dwells in me” and that we are neither good enough nor strong enough to do any better. We dismiss our errant proclivities by saying, “I’m only human,” as if being human means we cannot overcome our weaknesses. You are created in the image and likeness of God. He did not create you to go through life flawed but fabulous. But without the proper tools, no matter how hard we will ourselves to do right, we still don’t seem to succeed. 

The good we want to do, we don’t do, and the evil we don’t want to do, we do. 

We fight a battle—a seemingly losing battle—within ourselves. We think we must be beyond help. The bad within us is too strong, and we are doomed to live in this downward cycle for the rest of our lives. And so we throw in the proverbial towel. “You can make a decision today to rid yourself of the pain of yesterday so that you can live with peace tomorrow.” We tell ourselves, “If it is not one thing it’s another.” We get over one hurdle only to see another one just around the corner and we think, “This is as good as it gets.” “Things will never change.” “It doesn’t make sense trying to get up; I always get knocked down.” “I never get a break.” If you have ever felt even a tinge of this, I am here to tell you that you are being deceived. 

The person Paul describes in Romans 7 is not someone beyond hope, it is simply a person who has yet to embrace the power to change that Jesus Christ wants to give each of us. That person in Romans 7 is not a hopeless individual—but the person we all are without the liberating power of Christ in our lives. I am not saying that addictions, habits, dysfunction, abuse, and codependency aren’t real. I am saying, more importantly, that liberty from these conditions is available. The price has been paid that we might be free to be the change we want to see in the world. But if we remain ignorant of how to accept what God has already provided for us, we will never step into the richness of all we were created to be. Those of us who live in America often take our national and individual freedom for granted. There are so many who would risk their lives to have the freedom we enjoy. They live in daily fear because their rights have been robbed from them by oppressive governments, or worse still, anti-government rebels. So I ask, what is your true freedom worth to you? You can make a decision today to rid yourself of the pain of yesterday so that you can live with peace tomorrow. To do so, you must learn a new way of dealing with old pain and problems. 

You will have to trust the Lord as He guides you through a path that at times will seem counter intuitive. Yet in the end you will look back on the journey with gratitude that you, like every freedom fighter, were willing to fight your way from a place of bondage to a new place in God—a place of freedom. Here within these pages are your rules of engagement. Are you up for that challenge? Are you ready to be truly free? If so, the first thing you need to understand is why you are stuck in your current dilemma. Then you can begin to explore how to take hold of everything Jesus provided to get you out. If you feel despondent, discouraged, or hopeless at this very moment, bow your head and commit your life and situation to God. Pray this simple prayer: Lord Jesus, I commit my life and this situation to You. Forgive me for trying to do this alone. I accept Jesus as my Lord and Savior. Heal me of my pain. Deliver me from the hands of my enemies. Grant me the peace in my heart that I need today. Give me wisdom to make the right decision and the resilience to resist the temptation to cave in under the pressure. Give me the strength to say no to the wrong things so that I may say yes to the right things. Amen. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. —HEBREWS 12:11, ESV