I WAS ALSO A VICTIM

My name is James, chukwuemeka. I am 24 years old, and I stand for sexual purity. 

Not only because we must strive to snatch

this generation of youths from the firm grip of immorality, but also because I, too, was a victim. 

This is my story.

I live with my family in a small city, southeast, Nigeria. My parents are both traders. They drove out early in the morning and returned with their weak shadows.  

So my elder sister and I trekked back from school to meet a padlock, freedom, and afternoon–food before we ran off to play with our neighbors.

On one of those evenings, we gathered to play our favorite game 'hide and seek’, and tell stories. We had rushed through our dinner and were sure that neither of our parents would call.

my sister couldn't make it, so I solely represented our flat. my friends,  a male, and a female (both are siblings) they came from the second flat.

The place was dark. So we only heard our hushed whispers. 

Minutes into the game, the brother said to his sister, then to me. It was in Igbo

"let's do that thing we watch on Tv. Sex.".

Our eyes widened. We stared. Then we agreed. whatever happened afterward, stayed with the three of us.

But I was only six years old.

Ever since my urge for sex rose. I was surrounded by people, but silently it bit into me.

At the slightest scratch of my skin with anything feminine, I felt something become uneasy within me.

I was that gentle sole that would close his eye or swing his face the other way until an immoral scene was clear. But away from prying eyes, I returned, fast-forwarded to that scene, and devoured to my full.

To me, that was normal. I didn't feel guilty because it brought that sense of strange satisfaction. Those feelings one could not explain.

It held me tightly. I couldn't move forward in school. My head was blocked. My academic grade dropped. I failed all my exams and repeated a class. But It still did not occur to me to readjust. There was simply, no reason to. 

What I enjoyed far outweighed what I stood to lose. I had thought.

When the urge deepened, I found magazines of fair women without clothes and fed on them

Often, I sat hidden in our small room, and slowly caressed my little penis without the knowledge of what masturbation meant.

Scripture Union was compulsory for all students in my junior secondary. So I was present every Friday, sang and muttered prayers; gave offerings, and sometimes spared a few notes for my friends. but it didn't stop me from downloading my first pornography. 

I watched it and surprisingly, felt sad but yet, saw no reason to seek help or ask someone the reason for that strange guilt.

I would kneel and pray, and sometimes make a vow, Not to... But the next minute a stronger force would lure me to my thirsty vomit.

I went to church with my parents, sat in the children's department but can't say about my relationship with God.

Family Morning devotion wasn't a norm for us. It came once in a while. A long while. Neither was reading the Bible compulsory. I heard just enough drumming from the altar, verse after verse from the children's church. Nothing changed. 

But surrounded with people whose words, and character, and did, we're always speaking, it came a bit under control. 

I still stared at an inciting picture, but not without a beating heart.

In senior secondary, I met this friend, Paul. I didn't tell him about my struggles, but he was there for me. He stood by. He watched me like his own brother. He gave me the small Gideon's bible and often reasoned over scriptures with me.

Gradually, I regained control over myself.  

I left senior Secondary school and met another academic failure. (JAMB) and something happened. 

I was so angry with God. I held him accountable for my failure.

 

Why should I fail!  

I was enraged.

I wanted to get back at Him(God), to hurt Him. To make him feel the same pain of failure like I did. So deliberately  I went and bought this movie, Spartacus, (it's another pornography) and watched it in tears with semen ejaculating. 

I wrote that exam again and still failed.

But on that day, around March 25, 2014, I rose from my seat in a Dunamis church in Umuahia, and walked to the altar...

I didn't know what happened. My heart was broken. Tears streamed down my cheek.  THERE, I  GAVE MY LIFE TO CHRIST.

I prayed and asked God to show me mercy and help me. Yes, he did.

Ever since, till today, God has remained FAITHFUL.

                           ~

Dear, God is still very much ready to help you break out from the chains of any form of sexual immorality the devil had held you bound with.

"You are not a slave to the flesh!"

Jesus has paid the price on the cross of calvary for your freedom, so you can't remain in chains.

“If the Son, therefore, shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed. ”

(JOHN 8:36 )

It's your time to break out!!!

SAY THIS PRAYER

Lord Jesus, I have sinned against you and my flesh. Have mercy, and deliver me from this chain of immorality. 

From this day I vow to present my body as a living sacrifice Holy and acceptable unto you, which is my reasonable service.  help me oh Lord in Jesus' name, Amen.

#SexualPurityIsAMust